just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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