The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
