He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
