Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
