Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
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Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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