I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
