I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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