he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
