If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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