i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
