I wish I could teleport
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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