i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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