either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
