so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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