Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
