come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
