She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
