And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
