So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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