We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
