My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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