If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
