one two three fourrrrnication!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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