I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
