Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nicole vs. Life
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize