he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
