i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize