I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The best revenge is premature balding
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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