i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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