found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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