It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
