God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
