Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its not stalking. its research.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
