I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
third nipple confirmed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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