i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
