He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
