I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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