I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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