Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
