I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize