I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize