She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love having hate sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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