Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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