Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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