This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
