Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
