Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
