You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
