I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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