Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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