Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
MIDGETS
????
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
