I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
