your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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