I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
