that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
