oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
