Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
