Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
