Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
