You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize