i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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