Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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